April Fool's Day is Canceled!

US Numbers as of 3:50pm on 4/1/2020: 203,608 infections and 4,476 deaths. 1,139 in NY alone. But again, we have to remember that they aren't testing everyone. Some of my friends have been sent home presumptive positive. Never heard those words in my life. Yes, they have bad symptoms but they don't warrant hospitalization, so they don't get a test. Therefore, they don't have to tell folks that they may have been infected because they just don't know. So many stories like this. But here we are. No one is laughing. Florida finally shut down. No April Fool's joke can compare to real life right now. Everyone is scared and guess what trump is talking about? His ratings. Yeah, the rating on his Coronavirus Task Force daily briefings! They are higher than Monday Night Football and Bachelor Finale. WTF!? He is really delusional. He is not the people's president. Folks are tuning in because they are SCARED and they need reassurance and guidance. They want information...let me correct that, CORRECT information! I still try to watch everyday. He is trying to read the statement as written but still ad libs. Then he tries to answer questions and sounds like a fool! He lies and covers up and doesn't take any blame for anything. It's appalling! I only watch to listen to Fauci and Dr. Birx to get the facts. We still try to catch Cuomo's briefing, but we are still trying to be productive at work as well. They are talking about having more guidelines for masks and their daily use. Turns out the countries that have culture norms for wearing masks already have fared better in the numbers of infections. Of course, we still don't know if the numbers that China gave us were accurate. That's even more frightening since it started there. Italy and Spain are going through it now. UKs Boris Johnson has tested positive and he's one of those that wanted to wait it out and ride the wave. Crazy! So here we are. Quarantined, Day 18 I think. All the days are running together. We stay up late watching TV. Then scroll our phones to wake up in the morning. Then we work off and on. I finally cleaned the floors today. It was soooo bad. So much dirt. I brought up the new cheerful rug from the basement. Stella is happy to get the peacock rug downstairs, too. She keeps rolling around on it. I'm cleaning the rugs and towels. Again, just trying to get stuff done. I finally found a few things I was missing when we were cleaning up the yard last weekend. I found my lighthouses and my winter cover for the car! They were in the shed! I can't wait to tear down that other shed. We have to clean that out as well. So much stuff in there to organize. We need to prepare the garden beds. Tons of projects to keep us busy - I have a list. You know, folks are talking about how this isn't much different for them - staying at home. I can see that. I got so tired of being at home all the time, too, since I work from home. So I created a schedule and a project list months ago. It kept me from going crazy or sitting down too much. So it does feel a little the same. Unfortunately for some, this is very different. They have no job. They are running out of food and money. Not sure how to pay their rent. Or, on the other side of the coin, they have a job still and are terrified to go into work everyday. Some of my friends are doctors and nurses. They aren't even allowed to talk about what's going on at the hospital. They don't have enough equipment and then they have to come home to their families and attempt to not get them sick. I can't even imagine. Some aren't even doctors and nurses, they work in a factory or a grocery store. Same fears. Same lack of protection. Some under so much stress and around sick people who may have been forced to come to work or they lose their jobs! So I have lots to be grateful for. But I continue to be concerned for myself and my family and friends. Who will be next? How many will we lose? Am I safe to go out? We are both scared. What will the future look like? How will this change the world? The light that is shining on the darkness places of our society must not be in vain. We must illuminate our essential workers and pay them a living wage and protect them. We must not forget or leave behind our marginalized communities. It's not about us. It's about them. It's about what we can do for the sick, the poor, the elderly, the infirmed. We must look for the helpers to be encouraged. We must use kindness in everyday interactions. We must stay connected to our humanity and each other.

2020 March 25 - Stimulus Package

March 25, 2020 10:17pm 68,572 COVID positive cases - 1031 deaths, 592 recovered Well, I thought the world changed last week. Totally different today. Senate finally passed a sorry stimulus package while Canada is giving every citizen $2000 every other week for 2 months! Jenni and I may not even qualify for this stimulus because we make too much money. My salary is being cut too. Yeah, my boss just announced to everyone that we have to accept a 30% pay cut across the board. Now he wants me to ask Carl if he will do it too. Carl only work 40 hours a month! Crazy. We watched the Rosie O'Donnell Broadway fundraiser. It was great. Lots of stars to raise money for the Actor's Fund. The Governor declared a state-wide shelter in place and a travel warning to "flatten the curve" in Indiana. Surrounding states have done the same. Several other states have not, especially Florida. Lots of Spring Breakers still celebrating their freedom from school. And since Mardi Gras happened recently, New Orleans is suffering with COVID as well. We also canceled our Spring Break cabin trip. Luckily they will give us a voucher to use another time. But, damn, I'm bummed. Zion is no longer switching houses because his dad was still working at Flanner House until recently. School is now only eLearning for the rest of the year. The government may start using schools as emergency day cares. Speaking of Government, Fauci was missing from the press conference a few days ago and people lost their minds! #NoFauci was the #1 Trending subject on Twitter. Too funny. It just shows that we trust him a lot more than Trump. Trump cannot even just read a statement. He has to do the dumbest ad libbing I have ever heard with hyperbolic words and statements like "great", "best ever", "no one is testing more than we are", "we have the best test". Just lies and stupidity. He is so delusional that he just brags on himself and thinks he is better than everyone around him. He's clueless and showing that he was never prepared to be our President. Jenni and I went through a really sad time together this week. Friday the 13th was our last time out with folks besides visiting Jan/Lori. So it's only been 12 days locked in. Jenni has gone to the store a few times. We've gone outside a few times, too. They tried to reschedule my lung doctor for 6 weeks out. Since I needed X-rays, they told me to go ahead and come in. I was super careful and grateful that he saw me. They screened me with questions only when I arrived. But all three offices screened me. The symptoms have expanded - some even say a loss of taste and smell may be an early sign. But the key to the question was NEW. New in the last 14 days and have I been out of the country in the last 14 days. My buddy Gordie has it. He was on Day 5 of a scary hospitalization and isolation with experimental drugs. He was the first that I knew directly to get it. He lives in GA and we went to college together. He is actually the college pastor's son. Married to a wonderful man now and just adopted Isla Rose. He got to go home today, but they aren't telling Isla. He must be quarantined in the guest room for 14 days. He knows she won't understand that he cannot hug her. So he is alone still and we are all praying he doesn't relapse. So this is what it's like today. Everyone working from home. We had a virtual meet-up with some women last week. I met with the Indianapolis affiliates via JoinMe. We had a Virtual Cast Party for VDAY - only 15 joined. We have a Virtual Pitch-in this Saturday. We all just want connection and normalcy. I asked Jenni the stages of grief. We are all grieving what felt normal. I'm grieving how un-important I am to my immediate family. I had to reach out to all of them. No one asked how I was handling things. It's just sad. I really went through a full day where I thought I might die from COVID. I've been struggling to breathe since January's pneumonia. That's why I needed the lungs doctor. But people were also saying that folks with asthma can really suffer from this virus. I was really scared. I even managed to panic Cory since I never panic or worry about anything. I think I wrote to her about "my last days". She immediately video called me. My friends have always been my family. I just kept thinking how things would be completely different if I had a child/baby. They would all be crawling up my ass to talk to me. Then I thought, "what if I do die?". Would they even care? How would they find out? Would it even matter to them? Would they come to my funeral? Like so many others, I had gone to a very dark place. I rely on distractions. During this shut-down, I have no distractions. My mind just swirls and reels...reeling. Cory and I used to talk about reeling. It's like a tape/story you keep telling yourself and it replays over and over and over. It's normally not pleasant and generally not a good exercise. We start believing those stories and the truth and any good of the moments become shadowed. So that's where I went. We cried. We shared. And the next day I felt better. We are trying to have a normal routine. She has commandeered Zion's room as an office. She's in their now doing a Virtual Playreading - so odd to overhear and she sounds SO LOUD out here. I can't imagine what she sounds like to them if she is using a mic. From what I've gathered, it's a royal family and their is some feminism afoot, now there is something about a play and her character's narcissism. They started at 8:30pm. It's 10:48pm. Ruby and I played outside. She loved it. It's finally a beautiful day - 62 degrees. Wonderful night. I moved my powerful 10,000 lumen lights from under my trees. They were supposed to be shining up the tree trunk but they often shifted. Then they blinded those driving down the street or turning the corner. So I now have one shining on the front of the house. I then wanted to put one on the side of the house. These are our darkest spots and we need to show off the house. But the cord on the second one wouldn't go around the corner from the plug. Ugh. So I need to have another tactic for that one. Then we treated the hot tub and filled the bird feeder. Just doing the daily/weekly routine in an attempt to feel normal. Lately, we've been staying up late and getting up whenever to start work whenever. There is an air of "what does it matter in the end?". Obviously dangerous to productivity and we discussed that today on our long walk with Ruby around the park. She loved it. We all needed to get out of this house. You see, I'm the type of person that wishes to be hyper-aware during a crisis. For example, when the storms are bad outside, I want to watch the local news and see it coming. I want to be prepared to take action in the moment. The same with this virus. I've eased up a bit, but I have to watch the briefings. All of them. Trump, Facui, Cuomo, Holcomb and any others that have information. We are in crisis! No one knows when it will end. How it will end. How many will die. $1200 isn't much of a stimulus for some. It may pay one month's rent for some, but they will still watch their loved ones die because the nation didn't shut down and protect the vulnerable. We are learning who the real leaders are. Who the real heroes are. Who the essential workers are. The ones you are mean to and look down upon. The ones that aren't worthy to talk to or be respectful to. The ones that you don't think deserve a living wage. There was a joking meme today online: How much does it take for a Republican to believe in socialism? $1000. I'm so glad my lungs are clear. I'm really trying to protect this house and Jenni. We are staying away from everyone. Pizza and packages from friends are being left on the porch. We must stop helping this spread. The economy is not more important than a human life. Trump wants to open up the country (whatever that means) on Easter. He thinks it will be a beautiful day and perfect to celebrate. He's fucking crazy! He has no idea what Easter will look like for us. He knew about this mid-January. He stopped flights from China Feb 8 and wants to praise himself for that everyday. Then some Senators sold off their stock because they knew it was coming from top-secret intelligence reports! He continued to golf and said it would go away. There were only 15 sick and then those 15 were going to get well. LIES!!!! Lies from our President to protect his rich friends and try to save the stock market. We know exactly what's important to him. We know that hospitals are out of PPE. They are being asked to where hospital bandannas! Folks are making masking for them. We will be out of hospital beds soon. There are not enough ventilators for those that can't breath on their own. ICUs are filling up. Younger and younger folks are dying. A nurse just died at home with the 4-5 yr old and they didn't find the body until 12-16 hours later. This is what is important to us. Trump was asked by Peter Alexander, "What do you want to tell the Americans that are scared?" A layup question for him to assure the American people. He said, "I would tell them you are a terrible reporter. What a nasty question." CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT?!? So that's where we are today.

Waiting on the World to Change March 2020

This year will go down in infamy. The year 2020 where we all gained 20 pounds from being in quarantine. Last Friday was the last event we attended. It was the Agitators at the Phoenix Theater on the Brian Fonseca stage. Great show about the friendship between - well - here is the description: The Agitators tells of the enduring but tempestuous friendship of Susan B. Anthony and Frederick Douglass. Great allies? Yes. And at times, great adversaries. Young abolitionists when they met in Rochester in the 1840s, they were full of hopes, dreams and a common purpose. As they grew to become the cultural icons we know today, their movements collided and their friendship was severely tested. This is the story of that 45-year friendship - from its beginning in Rochester, through a Civil War and to the highest halls of government. They agitated the nation, they agitated each other and, in doing so, they helped shape the Constitution and the course of American history. Really amazing acting and versatile set. We were ushering. Jenni collected tickets and greeted as they arrived. I handed out Playbills to attendees. We were running short since we weren't going to print anymore. They were already limiting seating in the Basile theatre for Zhirkus Grimm. You were supposed to allow at least a seat between the next guest. Things were changing rapidly. The news from federal and local authorities just amplified the fear of uncertainty that we were all feeling. My best friend and I spoke when the coronavirus hit Washington state weeks before Indiana figured it out. We were on a live SnapChat stream together shopping Amazon for masks. She knew that N95 were the best. I found a pack of 10. She said to buy them. I didn't. I came back and they were gone. All masks were gone. This was most likely the second week in March. March 7, I met Jenni at the other Loco on Delaware before we went to her VDAY show. People were acting different but not much concern. We gathered and then went home. The next day was Jan/Lori's Open House. Then we had dinner at the Brew Pub. I kept joking to Gari that she was Patient Zero. She kept saying, "Fuck You, Eve." All good fun. That was probably the last time we hung out as a large group. I took Zion to go see Jan this past weekend. We were going out specifically for Pi Day, 3-14. We went to Greek's Pizzeria and Pots and Pans Pies. We had Apple Crumble and Orange Mango Meringe Pie. Both really well done. I will have to try their traditional crust soon. Before we ran errands, we stopped to see Jan and Lori's new house. Zion hadn't seen it yet. So they stopped Bombshell so that Jan could give Zion a proper tour. We chatted and we went on with our day. Granted it had snowed a bit and we probably shouldn't have been out, we want Pi day treats. So it was done properly. I fully believe that children remember memories when they are connected to dates and food. Ha! Anytime you can make something special for a child or teenager, I hope you do it. They may have more bad days than good that you don't know about. Consider giving them more good days. It's all about balance. So that was March 14. Cities were shutting down services. Theatre's canceled. School canceled Thursday evening March 12. They wouldn't return until April 6 after Spring Break. Today they announced that the whole state would shutter schools until May 1. Today is March 19. I know I'm jumping around, but St. Patrick's Day was barely a BLIP. I made some green beer and toasted folks on video. Social Distancing was just beginning. Stay away from folks - at least 6 feet. Don't go out if you don't need to. Restaurants and bars started closing in the city around this time. But still some people aren't taking it seriously. They don't understand that we are estimated to be just 11.5 days behind Italy. As of today, Italy just passed China in the body count. Their military is carrying bodies to other regions for cremation. Families can't say goodbye. They didn't know it would be this bad. As of right now, 737pm ET, the number of US cases is at 13,159 and 176 deaths. 68 in Washington. 108 recovered. I keep watching the numbers. Why do I watch them and also know that they are only going to increase with the amounts of tests there are. There are billions of us in American. How high will the number get before we "flatten the curve"? Fauci, who we all have trusted from the beginning!, is saying we won't know the affects of social distancing for two weeks. Thanks, Fauci, I was trying to take my wife out of town for the Spring Break week. I need some time off so badly. We were just going to a really nice tiny cabin in the words of the TN mountains. It sounded perfect. But every single plan I would have come up with for this time period (including the ISA conference in AZ and missing seeing gramma in CO!) would have been canceled, postponed, or delayed. We talked about Broadway in NYC with just Jenni and Zion. We talked about the Pizza Expo MONTHS ago in Vegas - postponed! All casinos are CLOSED! Yes, in VEGAS. All sports have stopped. Tom Hanks and his beloved wife have COVID! Idris Elba got it. Two congressman. My stepson's basketball coach personnel. It's coming. Where is it going to hit for us? I told Jenni last night. I just don't know when it's going to come for us. It's only been a few days. We've had takeout at Siam Square. We made some great meals, but it's only like officially - starting March 14 really - 5 days? Back in those days, the maximum group number was 250 for some places. Then it was max of 50. I told Jenni one day that Austria said no more than 5 people and joked that they were kicking the youngest kid out of large families. It feels different now. It's not funny anymore. The energy completely changed. My job that was on alert around March 9 (the VPO didn't think it was that bad). My boss knew. He had talked to folks. He was keenly aware of the tidal wave that was going to hit our company. Folks and large organization had already banned non-essential travel. Now they were canceling workshops. He tried to get ahead of it. It was almost too much for him. At least it felt that way. We've already got an estimate on when we may run out of cash if we don't right the ship - May 1. Scary to think of what will happen in the next few weeks. With the world and the work. Many people are realizing that they have been practicing quarantine since before it was cool. Some people are recognizing the needs of marginalized folks and the huge gaps in government knowledge and protection. Then we have debates happening without audiences. We have shifts in voting for state primaries. No one knows when normal might happen again. Then we begin to question what we thought was normal. What did we really take for granted? Time with our families? The technology that allows us to be free musicians and supporters during this time? I watched Matt Nathanson do a live concert. Heck, Anthony Hopkins was playing piano with his cat on video! They are bringing back the Rosie O'Donnell show! They are allowing some Broadway to be online. There are puppets online. 5-day virtual conferences on Budhism! We are trying to do a 2-day Virtual Conference. My boss is on some other planet right now. He is scared. I've seen him scared but he is really scared. He wants to be the leader we all wish he would be. So anyway, resources going online and neighbors and friends actually checking on your well-being. Like I said, it feels different. Today is way different from just 2-3 days ago. It's only March 19. St. Patrick's Day was a tiny distraction. Scream therapy last night was slightly helpful (I tried to collectively get people to go outside at 715pm and scream to release tension - not much traction), but the news is getting worse. I need to remember the good stories. I need to remember that the malaria drug may help folks. There are more recovering. Right now Wuhan, China doesn't have any NEW cases. That's a little comforting. They started with 1 in Nov. How many months is that? 3.5 months. That puts us at July 4. Are we going to be celebrating then? Pastor Frank is still having church! TN didn't declare a State of Emergency or Disaster....yet. Texas was late to the game too. NPR guy said that we are going to look back on history and wonder who did it correctly. What state, government, city, community got it right during a crisis. Who should we model after in the next pandemic?